I Swapped Gas Station Protein Bars for a Shroom Bar—and Honestly, My Brain’s Never Been the Same

Let me start with this: I never thought I’d be the kind of person who got really into mushrooms. Not the “stuffed with cheese” or “sautéed on steak” kind (though, yes, those too). I mean adaptogenic mushrooms. The kind you read about in crunchy wellness blogs written by people who drink oat milk and run marathons for fun.

And yet—here I am. Officially that person. But before you start imagining me sipping mushroom lattes in a yurt while reading my aura, let me tell you: my mushroom journey began in the most boring way possible.

Cue the Sad Office Snack Drawer

Every weekday around 2 PM, I would hit the afternoon slump so hard it felt like running face-first into a brick wall of fatigue. You know that moment when your brain just gives up and you suddenly forget what Excel is? That was me. Daily. And what did I do to fight it? I’d reach for a gas station protein bar I’d grabbed “just in case.”

Spoiler alert: it never helped.

Dry. Chalky. Weirdly chewy. Sometimes I’d check the ingredients and wonder if “protein blend” was just code for “mystery dust and crushed gym dreams.” Still, I kept eating them because I needed something.

Then one day, I was doom-scrolling wellness TikTok (as one does) and stumbled upon something that didn’t just sound interesting—it sounded legendary.

“The Shroom Bar.”

Excuse me?? A mushroom-infused protein bar? I immediately had questions. Mainly:

• Does it taste like dirt?
• Will I hallucinate in the middle of my team meeting?
• Who came up with this, and are they okay?

Plot twist: It actually changed my life.

Let’s rewind.

The Brainchild of a Slovenian Hiker

Here’s the backstory: The idea for Shroom Bar was born during a hike in the mountains of Slovenia. Which is already cooler than anything I’ve ever done on vacation (I once got lost in a Target trying to find the exit). The founder was already obsessed with mushroom adaptogens, taking different powders daily—until the ritual turned into a clumpy, chalky mess.

You know the scene: you’re mixing lion’s mane into your morning matcha like a wizard, hoping for clarity and ending up with brainy sludge that tastes like mulch.

Then BOOM—lightbulb moment on a mountaintop. What if the magic of functional mushrooms could be convenient? What if they could be delicious? What if you didn’t have to drink your wellness anymore?

That’s how Shroom Bar was born.

Months of testing. Countless recipes. Probably way too many nights wondering, do people actually want to eat mushrooms in bar form?

The answer: Yes. A resounding, snack-happy, dopamine-boosted YES.

Wait, Wait, Wait… Mushrooms? In My Protein Bar?

Let me break down the mushroom squad in every Shroom Bar—aka the Mushroom Avengers:

1. Lion’s Mane – The Brain Boss

Nicknamed the “Smart Mushroom” (cue the tiny glasses and pocket protector), Lion’s Mane is here for your neurons. It boosts NGF (Nerve Growth Factor), which helps your brain grow new pathways. Translation? Better focus, sharper memory, faster thinking. It’s essentially the mushroom version of a brain spa.

After a week of munching on Shroom Bars, I actually remembered where I put my keys. Twice. In a row. Coincidence? I think not.

2. Cordyceps – The Energy Powerhouse

Cordyceps doesn’t just sound cool—it is cool. This one’s known for increasing your VO2 max, which is fancy science speak for “you can breathe better and go harder without dying on the treadmill.” It’s not a jittery caffeine high, either. It’s more like a steady, grounded, I got this kind of energy.

And let me tell you: my 3 PM slump? Gone. Ghosted. It doesn’t even text back anymore.

3. Reishi – The Zen Master

Imagine the Dalai Lama in mushroom form, and you’ve got Reishi. This mushroom helps your body chill out. Stress levels go down. Your nervous system stops acting like it’s auditioning for a soap opera. I used to snap at my Wi-Fi for buffering; now I just… breathe. Who am I?

4. Turkey Tail – The Gut’s BFF

No actual turkeys were harmed. Turkey Tail is a stunning little mushroom that boosts immunity and supports gut health. Your microbiome is basically your body’s control panel, and Turkey Tail helps keep it tuned up like a wellness mechanic. Think less bloat, better digestion, and that light feeling you get when your system isn’t crying for help.

So… What Does It Taste Like?

This is the part where I expected disappointment.

Mushrooms + protein bar = forest floor, right?

Nope.

I took one bite and literally checked the label again. It’s chewy, chocolatey, and kind of reminds me of those rich brownie bars you pretend are healthy but totally aren’t. Except this one is healthy. And it has mushrooms. And somehow still tastes like dessert.

I don’t know what kind of snack wizardry is happening in that recipe, but I’m here for it.

I Became That Person—And I’m Not Mad About It

Somewhere along the way, I became the person who says, “Actually, have you tried Lion’s Mane?” at parties. I now travel with Shroom Bars in my backpack, purse, and glove box like they’re rare gems. I give them to coworkers like Oprah handing out cars.

And you know what? I’ve never had one person not love it.

Even the skeptics—the ones who wrinkle their nose and say, “Wait… you eat mushrooms every day?”—usually end up ordering a whole box online after one bite.

The Real Magic: It’s a Lifestyle Shift Disguised as a Snack

Yes, it’s just a bar. Yes, you could eat a banana and call it a day. But Shroom Bar isn’t just about killing hunger—it’s about optimizing your entire existence with one delicious chew.

It’s self-care you can toss in your bag.

It’s mindfulness that doesn’t require a yoga mat.

It’s brain fuel disguised as dessert.

And for anyone who’s ever felt like they were drowning in a sea of wellness buzzwords and expensive rituals, let me say this: this is the simplest, tastiest, least “woo-woo” way I’ve ever upgraded my health.

No powders. No clumps. No weird green drinks that smell like sadness. Just a bar. That works.

So, Should You Try It?

If you’ve ever:

• Needed energy but didn’t want to ride the caffeine rollercoaster
• Forgotten what day it is (multiple times this week)
• Wanted to take care of your body but didn’t know where to start
• Tried one of those mushroom elixirs and felt like you licked a tree…

Then yes. You absolutely should try Shroom Bar.

Start with one. See how you feel. Then maybe, just maybe, you’ll join me and the rest of the mushroom-munching revolutionaries who believe snacks should do something for you.

Final Thoughts from a Former Skeptic Turned Shroom Evangelist

When I think about how far I’ve come—from scarfing dry protein bars with mysterious crunchy bits to treating my brain and body to actual superfood goodness—I feel like I’ve unlocked a life hack no one told me about.

And it didn’t take a cleanse, a coach, or a 47-step supplement routine. It took one bar. One daily decision that said, “I’m going to give my body something smart.”

So, thank you, Slovenia.

Thank you, adaptogens.

And thank you, Shroom Bar—for making me feel like the best, sharpest, calmest version of myself, all while satisfying my snack cravings.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a meeting to crush, a to-do list to destroy, and a half-unwrapped Shroom Bar in my hand that’s calling my name.

Want in? Grab one today. Just… don’t say I didn’t warn you when you get addicted.