I used to think eating a protein bar was a lot like going on a blind date set up by a very optimistic friend: you show up hopeful, spend ten awkward minutes trying to make things work, and head home with a stomach-ache and the urge to raid the freezer for real food. Added sugars disguised in chocolate drizzle, mystery “whey isolate blend” that turned my digestive tract into a percussion section—been there, cringed at that. So when I heard that an ex-Navy nuclear-power guy named Joel and his powerhouse co-founders were on a mission to invent the LAST protein bar I’d ever need, I rolled my eyes…then took a bite…and handwritten my break-up letter to every other bar in my pantry.
Today, I’m inviting you into the whirlwind romance that is the Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip LAST Bar and its equally charismatic sibling, the Café Mocha Latte LAST Bar. Grab your favorite mug (there’s actual caffeine in one of these, friends), loosen your skepticism, and let’s road-trip through 1,800-ish words of snack therapy.
Why “LAST” Isn’t Just a Cute Name
Joel Montesano spent 14 years in the Navy wrangling nuclear reactors—turns out that teaches you a thing or two about removing volatile stuff from complex systems. Swap reactors for snack aisles and volatile stuff for inflammatory ingredients and you’ve basically got the origin story of Five Plus Protein. He and his wife Lynda, along with healthcare whiz Bridget Grover, were fed up with three problems most bars refuse to fix: sugar spikes, gut punches, and ingredients that stoke inflammation like it’s bonfire night. So they engineered a bar that’s vegan, gluten-free, non-GMO, high-fiber, and sweetened only with monk fruit and stevia—promises baked into every LAST wrapper.
The acronym is tongue-in-cheek but true: Loaded with plant protein, Anti-inflammatory, Sugar-free, Tastes good. And because the team literally couldn’t find a manufacturer with the same high standards, they partnered with food scientists in Southern California to control every gram of honesty that goes into each bite.
Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip—AKA The Smooth Operator
If comfort food married functional nutrition, their first child would taste exactly like the Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip LAST Bar. Its texture? Think nostalgic peanut-butter-cup center, punctuated by rebellious bits of 100% cacao chips for crunch—the kind of crunch that whispers, See, being healthy doesn’t mean punishment.
Under the hood you’ll find pea protein (all nine essential aminos), all-natural peanut butter, MCT oil, and heroic dustings of cinnamon and turmeric for anti-inflammatory flair. Translation: 12 g of protein teaming up with healthy fats to keep you full, with zero added sugar to run you into a crash-and-crave wall later. Chicory-root fiber signs on as the prebiotic bouncer that escorts excess glucose out of the bloodstream nightclub.
How does it taste? Short answer: Like someone melted down Saturday-morning cartoons, athletic ambition, and grandma’s cookie dough, then solidified the mixture into a snack you can legally carry in your gym bag. Long answer: the peanut butter’s creaminess forms the baseline melody, cinnamon sneaks in like a jazzy sax riff, turmeric hides backstage soaking up the applause, and cacao chips deliver the cymbal crash. The bar ends on a savory-sweet note so balanced you’ll swear a pastry chef and a nutrition PhD co-wrote the recipe.
Café Mocha Latte—Your Pocket-Sized Coffeehouse
Some mornings you need coffee, protein, and self-respect—preferably in one hand because the other is scrolling calendar reminders. Enter the Café Mocha Latte LAST Bar. Imagine sipping a velvety mocha latte while crunching into cacao nibs, except no barista spelled your name like a Wi-Fi password. Each 60 g serving hides about 80 mg of caffeine—roughly a standard cup o’ joe—but delivered alongside steady-burning pea and almond proteins plus fatigue-banishing cashew butter.
Flavor-wise, it’s mocha first, latte second: cocoa powder lays down deep chocolate bass, coffee fruit extract adds fruity espresso high-notes, and cacao nibs give that artisan-chocolate mouthfeel that makes adulting feel bougie instead of bleak. Cinnamon and turmeric cameo again, sprinkling anti-inflammatory confetti without stealing the show. The result? An edible pep talk that keeps you alert for morning Pilates or rogue inbox pings without perilous heart palpitations or mid-afternoon face-plants.
The Science of Staying Friends with Your Gut
Remember those cringe first dates I mentioned? Most ended with me unbuttoning my jeans (not the fun reason) because whey isolate or sugar alcohols had turned my abdomen into a hot-air balloon. Five Plus sidesteps that nightmare by ditching dairy, soy, and hidden oligofructose in favor of plant proteins and fibers your microbiome actually recognizes as food, not chemical spam. Pea protein is hypoallergenic and easier on digestion than whey.
Turmeric, cinnamon, cacao, and chicory fiber create a four-horse defensive line against bloating and inflammation. They’re not FDA-approved miracle cures—Joel’s crew is refreshingly candid about that—but current studies do show these ingredients help tame inflammatory markers and promote gut happiness. Anecdotally? I can finally do a post-snack plank without sounding like an accordion.
Chapter 5: Road-Testing the Bars in Real Life
Field Test #1: The 5 a.m. Flight
Airport security lines move at sloth speed, so I packed a Café Mocha Latte bar to replace the overpriced latte-croissant combo. Verdict: I breezed past pastry drama, and the caffeine released slowly enough that I didn’t have to clutch the in-flight magazine like a life raft during turbulence.
Field Test #2: The Surprise Lunch-and-Learn
Corporate catered lunches love mayo. Mayo doesn’t love me. The Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip bar came to the rescue—paired with a sparkling water, I felt satiated (and smug) while colleagues navigated soggy bread. No sugar crash meant I could still ask coherent questions about Q3 projections.
Field Test #3: The 10-Mile Saturday Run
Stashed half a PB bar in my running belt, polished it off at mile six. No side stitches, no burping peanut-flavored shame. Energy leveled out like a perfectly paced tempo run.
Meet the Humans Behind the Wrapper
I’m a sucker for founder stories because products always taste better once you know who bled, sweat, and spreadsheet-ed over them. Joel’s résumé spans fitness instruction, cybersecurity, and nuclear engineering—not your average health-food influencer. Bridget brings two decades of physician-assistant savvy plus academic chops in exercise science and healthcare law. And Lynda’s lived dance with Lupus fuels the brand’s “food as medicine” mantra, ensuring every ingredient earns its boarding pass.
They’re Oklahoma dreamers, California makers, and proof that sometimes kitchen experiments cure boardroom headaches. The trio tested “proof-of-concept” PB bars in September 2024, crowd surfed rave reviews, then dropped Café Mocha in May 2025 like a mic after a flawless verse.
Palate Rhetoric—Why Sweetness Without Sugar Actually Works
If you’ve ever licked a packet of straight stevia (don’t), you know it can taste like licorice got lost in a cornfield. Five Plus dodges that fate by pairing stevia leaf extract with monk fruit—a tag team that mirrors sugar’s curve on your taste buds without detonating your glycemic load. Because monk fruit’s mogroside kick in early on the tongue and stevia finishes sweet on the back end, the combo crafts a flavor arc that fools even my dessert-snob palate. The bars simply taste…normal. Not “diet” normal—food normal.
Layer on a dusting of sea salt to sharpen peanut or mocha notes, and you’ve got a flavor profile that belongs in a patisserie, not a chem lab. The absence of erythritol means you won’t endure that weird cold mouthfeel or bathroom sprints some “sugar-free” bars demand as payment.
Sustainability and the Snack Ethic
Five Plus isn’t (yet) FSC-certified or slinging carbon-neutral sexiness, but they do source non-GMO ingredients and keep the recipe short enough that you can pronounce every syllable without Google Translate. Manufacturing in California under strict quality standards also reduces logistical whack-a-mole—fewer cross-country trucking miles, more freshness. They ship direct-to-door in recyclable cardboard, and yes—standard U.S. shipping is free.
I asked their support team about waste and learned they produce in smaller runs to maintain shelf life and cut surplus. It’s the difference between artisanal and industrial: you taste intention instead of preservatives.
The Price Tag Paradox
At $39 a 12-count box, each bar clocks in around $3.25. Yes, you could nab a cheaper, sugar-spiked bar at the gas station. You could also microwave a frozen burrito instead of cooking dinner; both choices have consequences. Considering the macronutrient density, plant-based integrity, and coffeehouse flavor injection, the cost per functional meal stacks up favorably against café lattes, post-workout shakes, or (checks notes) those lunchtime sushi rolls that somehow always snowball into $18. Plus, subscribe-and-save cuts 15 percent off the top—loyalty has perks.
So, Is This Truly the LAST Bar?
I’ve learned not to toss out superlatives lightly—life has a cheeky way of serving humble pie. But after three months of replacing breakfast here, pre-workout there, even sneaky midnight snacks, I haven’t missed my old standbys once. My energy graphs like a gentle hill instead of a jagged stock market. My jeans thank me. My digestive system sends daily love notes. And my taste buds? They can’t believe they’re clocking in overtime without hazard pay.
Could future Five Plus flavors eclipse these two? Maybe a Lemon-Ginger or Pumpkin-Spice is plotting to slide into our DMs. For now, Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip and Café Mocha Latte have earned permanent residence in my pantry, gym tote, and carry-on.
If you’re weary of over-promised, under-delivered protein snacks that treat your gut like a hostile takeover, consider making your last bar a LAST bar. Just don’t be surprised when you start measuring your days not in meetings or miles, but in joyous, chocolate-flecked bites that whisper, aging well never tasted this good.
